Wow, its been over a year since I wrote anything. Last  year was a rough on many levels for me. To start with I had a really rough class and everyone tried to tell me that they understood. That didn't help at all. If anything that pissed me off because they weren't in my shoes. They didn't know how bad it was. Then I had friendship issues with having to try to please all my friends and that isn't possible however I tried and only caused myself heartache in the long run. I did learn not to worry as much about what others think and I am still working on that I can't please everyone all the time. That sometimes I have to take care of myself first and that is OK. I am allowed to put myself first.

This school year so far is so much better than last year. I love my class and I am learning to value my team we had a rough start with one teacher quitting in the middle of this last quarter for medical issues. I know she had some however I think she made them worse to get out. She seems fine. I know being a teacher isn't easy and my district has a lot of expectations which I think are good to have. However teachers at my school seem to be in groups and you are either in the groups or your not. Its strange I am not a group kind of person. I always try to get along with everyone and sometimes its hard but I try.
 I have spend the first week of my winter break thinking about what it means to be a teacher. This is after the horrible shooting in Newton Conn. Where 20 children and 6 adults lost their lives due to one mentally unstable man. Who would want to kill murder first graders my heart breaks every time I watch the news. I know without a doubt I would do whatever it takes to safe any of my students. I treat each students as if they were my own. I love them with my whole heart. I truly believe teaching is a calling. I had a student from my first class who is now a high school freshman message me that at his high school football awards he listened to the coaches talk about inspiring people in your lives and how you need those people and how they impact you. He told me that he only thought of me during that speech. That I made a difference in his life. That means more to me than I can ever say.
Well I hope to be better about writing this year, We shall see...

Just thinking

Sometimes when I least expect it, I find myself thinking about where I am in my life. Did I expect to be right here at this moment? Am I doing what I am meant to do and I where I should be. However the last two months have taught me alot about myself. This year at work it has been the hardest year I have had with this group of second graders. I love what I do however this group makes it so tough at times. I sometimes feel that they don't want to learn, they don't want to be there... I also am finding out that there is way too much pressure placed on these little people. I think we all need to be accountable but it should be more than just a student’s test score. Some students don't test well. I didn't test well when I was in school. I was once told I would never graduate high school and if I did that college would be too hard for me. Hmmm I have an Associate’s Degree and Bachelors and now masters... So take that to all those who said I could not do it.  Never tell someone that they can’t do something, because it is something that they will remember and maybe they will not achieve that goal but who are we to say you can’t do something. As a teacher my job is to teach and encourage my students to be the best that they can be. I am a dream maker not a dream killer…I am 38 years old and I remember different teachers for different things they said or did or taught me. However I remember the one who told that I would never graduate. I am however lucky that I had more wonderful teachers who believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself my family and friends are also always there for me. However over the years friends have come and gone, relationships change and when you need them you find out who your real friends are. So life isn’t what I thought it would be for me when I was a little girl it’s a lot harder than I thought it would be but yet at the same time I have perfect moments that make everything that has happened worthwhile….

My first post....

Ok, I can't believe I am doing this. I really don't know why I am. I am not sure anyone is going to want to hear what I have to say. But here goes. I have learned alot this year about myself and others in my life. I am starting to finally not worry about what everyone things and how they feel. I need to think of myself first. For those that know me you know this was a hard lesson. I have also learned that it is so much easier to be happy. To be thankful for what I have. I teach second grade and the year started out a little rough, I also forget how little the students come in. However, I am amazed everyday by my students and the things they do and say. I started this blog so I could also write down what they say and have a record of it. I have been told many times that I need to write a book of the things kids say... so last week a male student in my class ran up to me as we were lining up from recess... "Ms. B I did the splits at recess and hurt my penis" Me to the student are you ok now. Student yes Ms. B I feel great. I said ok I am glad your ok. I need you to line up...I was trying not to laugh that I had to walk around the wall and laugh..... It is days like that I know I was meant to be a teacher...